Grief & sadness when a beloved pet passes away
I saw this powerful question whilst looking through my Facebook news feed yesterday and it made me think of how we deal with grief in regards to our lovely furry (and sometimes not so furry) friends. Mankind has domesticated animals for millennia probably starting with canines back in Lithic (stone) age times. Over the years animals have become a major part of many lives and when they pass away it can leave people feeling extrememly grief stricken. In this blog post I would like to examine how animals have become such an integrated part of our families that grief over the death of a pet can often be more painful than that of a human.
The main question, on the surface, seems quite simple - animals get old, just as humans do, and immortality doesn't seem like a good idea with lots of aged animals and people wandering around. It is the one constant in life, the one thing that we can guarantee, we all end up physically dying. It doesn't matter what your belief or path in life, whether religious or secular, mainstream or esoteric, grief and emotions are still powerful parts of our psyche. We know deep down that animals, just like humans, must reach the natural end of their physical lives at some point but it can be extremely hard to accept. The question just shows how powerful animals have become in our lives and I for one feel it is right that they have. All life is precious and none more so than a life we have nurtured from early days (such as a child or pet) or a life we have known since we ourselves were young (such as a parent, grandparent or, again, a pet).
I grew up with cats and have seen many pass on over the years but personally I don't think I have ever really grieved deeply over the loss of any one person or pet. This may surprise you as I describe myself as a highly sensitive empath which should mean that my emotions run wild when someone I love dearly passes away or one of the many pets I grew up with moved on to the next life. I think possibly that my faith in Spirituality has helped here and maybe deep down I think that the person/pet that has left this life has moved on to another form of living in another dimension or plane which comforts my deep seated emotions. Don't get me wrong, I miss my Dad, and the various pets that have passed on over the years, but my faith seems to have taught me that it is a fact of life and I can't do anything about said fact so I just accept it as so. For me it could be the circumstances surrounding the passing and maybe it would affect me more if the death was sudden rather than relatively expected. I haven't really experienced a sudden death of any person or pet in my life so far & therefore, possibly, I accept the circumstances more than if it was unexpected. An unexpected/sudden passing could affect me far more deeply than what I've experienced so far in my life but I can't really comment either way as I haven't had that experience. Also, as I get older and more people age with me it is inevitable that I will be attending more funerals in the future and maybe my sentiments will change depending on who has passed but I do understand grief to a certain extent and know it affects us all in different ways.
The key point here is that we are all different and subject to different levels of grief. As an empath I completely understand the reasons why we grieve and know that it is a process of taking each moment as it comes. I am not going to sit here and dictate that it gets better with time and that time is a healer - all cliches that have no relevance other than a fall back statement for people who don't really know what to say to someone who has lost a pet or relative/friend. You must grieve in your own unique way and in your own time but remember that you will never forget and nor should you. As time passes it may become easier to accept but there is no shame in crying or showing emotion however much time has passed. Even if, for arguments sake, twenty years has passed and you suddenly get emotional over a memory of a passed pet or loved one there is no shame in letting those tears flow - in fact tears can be a cleanser of the moment allowing us to take a moment and step back from the present.
When a beloved pet passes it can bring forth powerful emotions that you may never have felt for a human being and again there is no shame in this. Pets can be extremely faithful friends and become one of the family so it is understandable that grief over the loss of a pet can be a strong emotion. Pets teach us many things and many believe that unconditional Love is one of those things. For example if a dog is shouted at by its owner but later that owner gives it a cuddle then the dog is forgiving and seems to forget the shouting ever happened, wagging its tail and cuddling you back. I'm not talking about horrific mistreatment of pets here which can and does traumatise animals to the extent where they can't trust humans ever again but more the mild punishments we may give our pets at times, whether intentional or not. It is akin to a husband and wife, or any loving partnership, having a blazing row over something petty and then kissing and making up afterwards. I believe pets can show that forgiveness is a powerful thing, and should be practised if possible, to make us better people allowing us to learn and grow.
Pets can bring immense joy into our lives teaching us how to have fun and Love in equal measures. Although I grew up with cats I did have some Greyhounds a few years ago. A more loving dog and faithful companion I have never known. If I or my partner at the time was ill the Greyhounds wouldn't leave our sides and snuggle up to us proving their love and care for us beyond any doubt. I'm not sure that even I showed that much love and care to any partner I've been with but I think I'm learning as I get older and grow - just need a partner to try it out on now I guess :-)
I'm sure many readers of this post have experienced the loss of a pet, not least the person who posed the question that got me thinking about the subject in the first place. There are no easy, or even right/wrong answers to how best to deal with grief when a pet passes away. It is a fact of life but that doesn't mean you shouldn't take the time to grieve and show your care for the pet who is no longer physically here. Remember the good times, the fond memories, the ups and downs of living with said pet and feel no shame in showing your emotions. It is a natural part of life to grieve and shouldn't be seen as weak thing to do even if you're a man. It isn't an easy journey but it is one we can share with others who have gone through similar processes of loss and grief.
Here at Positive Nature we are happy to be a listening ear and hopefully provide some comfort to those who have lost beloved pets or people. Grief can bring on a lot of negative Mental Health issues but know we are here to help by listening and providing a safe space to chat about your emotions, thoughts and feelings without judgement and meaningless advice. You are who you are, believe in yourself and deal with grief in your own way whilst knowing there are others around who care deeply about you and what you're going through.
Please feel free to comment on this post and add your own thoughts and feelings to it - it's why we're here - to provide that safe platform for discussion whilst being understanding, compassionate and positive. Pets passing may be a fact of life but it can be a devastating experience - never forget and keep talking.
Blessings and Light
All opinions in this post are my own and many (such as a belief in an afterlife etc) can not be proven. Such opinion, as always, is presented as such and can not be taken as fact unless categorically proven to be so. Please be understanding and compassionate for other peoples beliefs when responding to these posts, Many thanks, Positive Nature.
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